Surgery for continued breast reconstruction came round very quickly. The aim for this surgery is to create a nipple on the left side, have a Mastopexy on the right side then complete fat grafting using liposuction to symmetrise both breasts so they look as they did before the mastectomy.
This part of the journey has felt the loneliest if I'm honest because it's hard explaining why treatment & surgery continues. Writing this hopefully will help explain. It's an ongoing journey & I'm hoping and praying I'm coming towards the end. The problem is that cancer has an inconvenient tendency of returning so prevention will always be ongoing. It's now 18 months since diagnosis and I am genuinely tired both physically and emotionally. The Marsden team explained that it takes on average 18 months to feel back to normal after chemotherapy. It sounds like a long time however I'm finding that is accurate. My memory and concentration is not what it used to be but returning to work 3 months ago is helping get me back to normality. I look forward to recovering and in time experiencing having a month with no medical appointments.
The night prior to the op, it was as if Clara could sense my anxiety, she just didn’t settle. I saw it as a chance to give her more cuddles and eventually she slept. I was reassured when Dad came bright and early to pick me up and drive to the McIndoe. Having my Dad there really helps, his natural tendency to chat to anyone and everyone never fails to make me smile. Together we've met fellow patients and countless medical professionals. Our eyes have been opened as we've learnt more and more about cancer and living with it.
It felt surreal being back to where I had my first mastectomy operation. My plastic surgeon Adam was lovely and talked me through the procedure again whilst he drew incision lines on my body with a sharpie pen. Honestly it looked like a purple map. I enjoyed seeing the nurses who were welcoming, bubbly and chatty. They said "Our Paula is back!". Claire who is looking after me said it was like seeing an old friend again. They all took such great care of me during the week I spent in hospital last year.
It was quite a wait till I went into surgery after lunch. Whilst the anaesthetic was injected into my hand, I visualised my husband and our children's faces. As I woke in recovery, I was so groggy and sore. Liquid morphine was syringed into my mouth. Surgery took over 3 hours and naturally I was suffering from pain afterwards. I have to wear compression garments and supportive sports bras day and night for the next 2 weeks. I can't drive for 3 weeks nor lift anything. It will be all worthwhile when the swelling subsides and I can see the results.
Seeing James and Clara later that evening made me feel so much brighter. They are the best medication going! What's ironic is that tomorrow is our 6 year Wedding Anniversary and the McIndoe is within walking distance of East Court where we said "I do". I hope to be discharged tomorrow so we can spend part of our day together.
